I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
