So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize