i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
