Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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