carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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