Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
honey bunches of taint.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
