Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
