I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We left the knife in your bed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
