i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
