so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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