I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
