Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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