I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
