apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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