he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize