i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
