Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
