We won't sleep together?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
