there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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