he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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