He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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