Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm passing your future prison.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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