I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
