happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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