Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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