NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
