Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
