"it" just moved
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize