omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The beer is more important than you right now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i've created a new STD.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
