Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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