Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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