I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Randomize
