he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bring me that man meat
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
