they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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