ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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