8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
