some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
