butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so that wasnt chicken after all
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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