So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
