She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
