This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
