the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
