Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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