was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
