Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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