How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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