doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
