I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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