some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
