super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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