do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
and she was petting her beer can
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!