Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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