ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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