Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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