I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
