I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We got so high we made milksteak
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
