Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
