Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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(585): View more from New York

Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick

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(937): View more from Ohio

oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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(254): View more from Texas

Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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(970): View more from Colorado

totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I love having hate sex.

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(785): View more from Kansas

There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.

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(813): View more from Florida

IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.

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