i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
