I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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