At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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