I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
