so let's talk penis.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I lost the right to judge tonight
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
