How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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