i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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