so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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