i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
