their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
